


The Taste of Certainty

by 2trangerMcDanger



Series: Space Solkat [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkward First Times, M/M, Terrible Sex, This was inevitable, an excersize in failure i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29284185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2trangerMcDanger/pseuds/2trangerMcDanger
Summary: But now that there's not anything in the way, you can't help yourself; you're staring at him, gawking if you will. Sure, you always thought he was nice to look at, maybe it's the lack of other troll contact that makes you feel that, but right now, he looks breathtaking. Your pumper twists like a rag at the sight of him.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Series: Space Solkat [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904998
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

_As the cadet adjusted his flight suit to fit him properly, tussled by what the two had just been doing, the buccaneer caught himself, gaze lingering longer than normal. The soft question, seldom asked by his lips lingered, at the forefront of his thoughts and immovable in its persistence. The buccaneer always saw his shipmate as...more than that. Even if their tomfoolery had been growing more frequent, it stood to reason that he could be practicing such acts with other crewmates. The thought tore inside of you, like a digcreature rips apart lush soil, tearing the ground to crumbling pieces as it burrows for the cold season, to raise its young. He wants him for himself, wholly his own, and no others. The deep marks on Soll--_ Shit. _the Cadet's throat should be more than enough proof of that._

  
No this doesn't sound right. You always used to mock your old romance novels with beating around the bush, not getting to the point soon enough but it looks like when given the reins of your own novel, you do the same exact thing. 

  
You can't help it, it's the tension that sells it! The implications, words unspoken, the what-ifs, and the almosts. When does anyone ever outright say 'hey, I know we've been fucking for a while but can we make this exclusive?" Especially not when you're working together on a big empire ship, fraternizing illegally under the guise of battle strategy meetings. And the class gap, it's all so taboo! 

  
Well, needless to say, you feel like that's enough writing for one session. You got your fill, satisfied your cravings for now, and can pick up when you feel like it. You close the notebook you managed to find hidden under a cabinet and tore the pages of nonsense out and slip it into your private desk drawer, covering it with some clothes and other bits and bops, hidden, secret, just how you like it. 

  
There's a moment after writing when you need to decompress, or all you're going to be thinking about is how steamy and wonderful your own work is, you really out-do yourself time and time again. But after relishing in your own amazement for a little bit, you pull yourself out and go to find Sollux.   
He's probably where he always is, pulling at wires and studying the mechanics. He's always elbow-deep in the blood cavities of this thing, learning it inside and out. It beats sitting around and staring at a wall, you suppose. 

  
Sure enough, when you walk into the engine room, there he is, sitting in the dark and soldering with his psionics. You flick the light on, and he flinches, groaning loudly and rubbing his eyes, and the wires in front of him clatter. "You couldn't have warned me??" he glares up at you, once he has the ability to take his hands off his face like a dumb wriggler.

  
"How long have you been up?" 

  
The question doesn't really get answered, he just picks up the thing he was working on and goes back to it. 

"Captor." 

  
Nothing but the buzz of electricity, and the smell of burning rubber.

  
" _Solluxander_."  
"Geez, what?? It's fine, I'm fine, I basically just started."  
"The question was how long have you been up."  
"Like...seventeen hours? Whatever, it's fine! I said it was fine!" 

  
You rub your eyes with your pointer finger and thumb, huffing exaggeratedly. "Do me a favor, grab a ration and go the fuck to sleep." Your tone is harsh because you are actually frustrated. This is wriggler shit, he should know better than to stay up like this. They aren't six anymore, they have all the time in the world to perfect whatever skill they want. They have no plans, no future, he shouldn't be working himself like there's no tomorrow just because there is actually no tomorrow! 

  
And you don't say any of this because the two of you have had many many conversations about this exactly. He always responds the same, you run around in circles until you're screaming at each other, doors slam and you don't talk for however long is physically possible. And Sollux knows that's where this conversation is heading. Instead of saying anything and doing your usual song and dance, he makes this face, you know it well. It's the 'KK is right but I don't want to stop what I'm doing' face.

  
"A compromise then." You start, "I'll keep this warm for you, and you go eat and take a power nap." Sollux's expression softens, and he nods. That was the key, you suppose. He puts the stuff down and gets up to meet you at the door. He takes your hand and you give it a casual, but firm squeeze. In response, he pulls it up, and kisses your knuckles before shoving past you.

  
Affection is a lot more casual now, not that you ever talked about it together. Not that you ever talk about _anything_ together, but it's okay, you're not mad. 

  
Instead of lingering on that, you hunker down, take a look at what he's working on. Just because Sollux was your resident tech guy doesn't mean you haven't picked up a skill or two from the solitude. He's stopped making fun of you for being bad at coding and actually taught you something for a change. And you discovered you're a much more hands-on learner, and watching him work was a much more effective teacher. 

  
It felt good to get something done, even if you were on equal skill levels, Sollux's is faster than you are with his hands, and has the advantage of being a troll swiss army knife, tools built into his brain where you have to use your stupid hands. But it's good, you like the cool feeling of metal, hot soldering gun, and whatnot. 

* * *

  
After a few hours of working, you decide to go wake Sollux up. He'll be pissy if you let him sleep for too much longer, the freak. Even though your new ship has two blocks, you find it easier to share space for the most part, with some exceptions. It's familiar, homey. That, and now that you've tasted sharing a coon with someone, you can't go back, it seems. 

  
However, when you walk in, what you don't see is your best friend catching some much needed Z's in the coon, you see him sitting at your desk, reading your journal, your _extremely private_ journal. Your face is hot as a welding iron, and you quickly reach over his shoulder, and slam the notebook down to the desk, covering its pages with your palm. Sollux's thrashes in surprise, throwing himself back into you with the chair hitting your chest.

  
"What _the fuck_ do you think you're _doing?!_ " Your voice is a lot less intimidating and masculine than you meant for it to be, it's more shrill, like the pathetic and embarrassing pupa you feel like.

  
"Shit..." He murmurs, obviously aware of how fucking bad this looks on his part. "I was....catching up on some light reading." 

  
"THIS IS NOT A BOOK!!" You crush the pages in your hand, wrinkling some of them, but succeeding in picking up the book so you can flip to see what exactly he's reading. Oh, awesome, he's right at what is objectively the most raunchy part of the entire work, you're mortified. "You sure it's not a book? Cause it has pages and writing, and it's bound together with--"

  
"THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT LIKE THAT!" 

  
"Fuck, okay okay sorry! I didn't think it was that big of a deal, so what, you write smut in your downtime. We all need release, right?" He swivels the chair to face you and finally sees you in your pathetic glory, clutching your sex novel close. "Oh, you can't be serious, KK it's fine. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

  
"Yes, it is, oh my god?? How would you feel if--" You stammer, and he patiently waits for you to finish. You want to gut yourself. "How would you feel if I just walked in on you jerking off?? That's what this is for me! And if I did walk in on you doing that, I wouldn't sit there and watch and be like 'oh, don't mind me, just keep going, I'll just be here, watching, not saying anything or doing anything or--" You groan out again as he continues to not stop you.

  
Just because the two of you are physically comfortable with each other, doesn't mean you're _that_ comfortable with each other. You've never seen his bulge or his anything besides, a butt, and legs and stuff. And the same goes for him, you guys just aren't at that level of being together constantly. 

  
When you said all that though, you see it sort of dawning on him, his own face going steadily yellower and his teeth sinking into his lower lip as he thinks on it. "Yeah, okay, when you put it like that, it's weird. But it's actually not that, since it's clearly just some self-indulgent bullshit. I'm not watching you jerk off, I'm reading your fantasies." 

  
Somehow, that's worse for you. "I would _rather_ you watch me jerk off! What am I even supposed to do about this! Don't say anything about this, don't...critique my work or what the fuck ever, 'cause I know you'll pull some shit like that and I DO NOT want to fucking HEAR IT. Keep it to yourself."

  
"Oh, I will. I'll keep it so much to myself." He's all smirky, doing this little hip wiggle and crossing his legs, and you actually want to slam his face into the floor. You scream in frustration, and quickly run to the garbage chute, fully intending on throwing the notebook out into the fucking space void.

  
"KK, wait, Jesus fuck!!" You hear him chase after you, and suddenly the collar of your shirt is being pulled back and keeping you in place by implication alone. You know you could pull against it, remove your shirt and keep going, but that'd only look stupider than it already does. And it looks pretty fucking stupid. 

There's a beat of silence, and then he speaks because you sure as hell weren't going to. "I'm...sorry for my joke. And I'm sorry for making fun of you for your weird fanfiction."

"It's not fanfiction, shut the hell up."

  
"Fine, whatever. The point is, I don't think it's weird, and I actually...kind of like reading it." That's weird, you think. What he's saying is weird to you. Growing up, this really was your only method of satisfaction. It was too risky to actually do anything, use your hands or god forbid something else. If you left even a single drop of yourself anywhere, your life was over. Hearing Sollux say he likes it, makes you want to tear your flesh off.

  
"No offense, but when I said I wanted more open communication, this is not what I had in mind."

  
"Well, fuck, KK what _did_ you have in mind then??" His psi leaves you, and your collar falls back around where it's supposed to be. You turn to face him, notebook clutched close to your chest, protectively. You don't know what to say. You don't know what to do. The idea of someone discovering this seemed so impossible, you thought you were so careful. 

  
Sollux takes your silence, also clearly lost and not sure where he's even going. "For...the record. If you did walk in on me jerking off, I would like to think I wouldn't immediately scream and throw myself into space." _What would you do?_ Your stupid brain quickly asks, but your mouth is smarter than that, and you keep it shut.   
"We are not having this conversation." You're still so hot with embarrassment, your face feeling like it's on fire. "When I said to communicate with me more, I meant...about how you feel about stuff. Not you clearly having some weird fantasy about me walking in on you."

  
And that's usually the cue for Sollux to deny such an accusation, but he doesn't. "Okay, but, what if I'm talking about my feelings with. Not minding you walking in on me." His words seem slow and deliberate. Like he's only just saying these phrases without thinking about them; like he's not sure. 

  
This. Is insane. Sure, maybe your own novel is just a not-so elaborate self-insert of you and your best buddy. You're not in so much denial that you won't admit that to yourself in your most private of private thoughts. But he's outright saying it, and it feels like pulling the curtains back and looking at a stage production of the most asinine musical you've ever seen. 

  
How do you even respond to that?? You have to respond, there's no way you could sit here in silence, you have to live with this guy for what is effectively the end of time, you don't wanna spend eternity in awkward boner limbo! 

  
When you speak, your mouth feels completely dry, and the words feel strange coming out. "I...guess if that's the case then. This is officially. A discussion about feelings."   
Sollux looks like he's slowly pulled apart, limbs being agonizingly pulled inch by inch as you keep thinking, gears keep turning.

What's even the issue here? Just spit it out. 

  
Spit it out spit it out spit it out _spit it out_ , you yell over and over to yourself.

"And...my feelings on the matter are that...in the future, if the occasion were to...arise. I would be...in that instance....open to the idea." Fuck, this should not be so difficult. Sollux nods in response, lips pressed tightly together. You wonder if he's avoiding eye contact as much as you are. 

  
"Now please, for the love of God, go take a nap." And he does, quickly, and with little a resistance.

  
You're going to need a cold shower


	2. Chapter 2

Things have never been so awkward between you. It took an alarmingly long time for you to feel okay with just..touching him normally, other than a nudge out of the way or to get his attention. Even cuddles in the coon seemed suddenly weird and loaded. 

  
This had to have been inevitable, right? Two trolls, stuck together in space for a really long time, growing ever closer to their final molts, no escape from one other, and no way to even pass the time?? That sounds like the perfect recipe for a porno if you've ever heard of one, but somehow it took you several perigees to even bring the idea up.   
You don't even talk about that conversation, not even in vague illusions. After a few sleeps, it's like it had never even happened.

  
That is, until a particular night. After long hours of more work on the ship, the endless amount of parts and systems needing what seemed like infinite upgrades, according to your blockmate, had your brain thoroughly mush. He was practically running a one-troll sweatshop.

  
You make your way to the nutrition block, eager for some coffee, and see Sollux, he's shirtless and clearly surprised at you being awake. Now that you have access to ways of cleaning your clothes, and washing yourselves regularly, you don't see him unclothed very often anymore; he doesn't like to show himself off, you suppose. You'd think his lazy ass wouldn't give a shit if he were covered or not, but it seems he does. 

  
He looks dainty, the artificial blue light making him look almost a strange green color as he sits upon the table, manuals spread around him, as he flips through and circles whatever he deems interesting. When you enter, he almost didn't notice you, only the flicking of the coffee machine alerting him. "You're up." He notes, plain and neutral, and folds the manual he's reading and sets it aside. It surprises you. Why would you entering a room cause him to stop reading? 

  
But now that there's not anything in the way, you can't help yourself; you're staring at him, gawking if you will. Sure, you always thought he was nice to look at, maybe it's the lack of other troll contact that makes you feel that, but right now, he looks breathtaking. Your pumper twists like a rag at the sight of him. 

  
Obviously, he notices, he's addressing you, isn't he? Sollux crosses his arms, brows furrowing in discomfort and you snap out of it. God, you're such a creep. You can't help but want to be closer to him. Very close. But you settle on standing next to him, holding the empty mug and fidgeting with it. "Yeah, I was...working on the uh...the thing."

  
"The thing?"  
"The thing that powers the uh...you know what I'm trying to say."   
Sollux laughs at you and relaxes his posture more, and your face quickly warms. Are you really this tongue-tied?? 

  
"Yeah, alright. Well while you were working on things, I've been trying to hijack a connection. It seems like the Empire is surprisingly tight on who gets to use their networks, and Alternia is a really big exception. Other fleets are technically.." His talking slowly fades from your mind as you space out, watching him talk is far more interesting than listening to him. 

  
Eventually, he notices that you're not paying attention, eyes glazed over and head slightly drooping from how tired and spellbound you are. When he goes quiet, you snap out of it, for a second goddamn time, what the fuck is wrong with you. His eyes narrow and he frowns. "If you're not going to listen, I'd rather you not engage." 

Shit. "No, come on, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."

  
"Like what." You were really hoping he wouldn't ask, considering the answer is various scenarios. It would be suspicious to dismiss his question; you're not one to keep your thoughts to yourself, at least your normal thoughts. 

  
Instead of answering, you set your mug down on the table behind you and put your hands on either side of his legs. You feel like a volcano, something hot and bubbly in your gut. Is this what butterflies are? You're shaking slightly, but you pull closer and look at him, emotions and thoughts plastered on his face. Surprise, concern, unsureness, if that's possible for someone like him.

You...should probably still say something. 

"Like if...you're feeling cold without...you know."  
"No, I feel pretty good, actually." Now he's smiling, the douchebag attitude having a cozy effect on you as your hands slip up his waist. The soft inhale he makes in response gives you goosebumps. 

  
In the blink of an eye, he pulls you forward, not even moving his hands to do it. Before you could even think, he's kissing you. God, how you missed this. 

  
It's easier not to question anything, questions will lead to conversation and you two are not good at conversation. It's easier to take his lead and pull him even closer. You press your thighs against the edge of the table, and he spreads his legs around them, wrapping his legs around you. Something is definitely stirring in you that doesn't stir when you write. 

  
You feel dizzy the more you kiss him; like you're dreaming or otherwise not fully there. The only thing keeping you grounded is the growing skin on skin contact as he slides his fingers in your hair and tugs slightly. It doesn't hurt, but it sends pinpricks straight to your bulge. Oh fuck, this is happening. 

  
It's happening and it feels so nice, you didn't know kissing could feel like this. All those big dramatic kisses in movies, you thought they were like a protocol. Like calling someone before you come over, but it's not. All of this is so new to you, and it doesn't stop there. Sollux pulls back and kisses along your face, dipping his face down to your neck, and you feel yourself melt away. 

  
Kisses start turning to bites and sucking that hurts slightly, but it does everything for you. Suddenly, you're painfully aware of the nothingness that you're giving. You're only introing to make outs have been your own porn and other people's porn. So uh...touching. Touching is what a person does. 

  
It's difficult to think with all that magic Sollux has going on, but luckily an idiot like you can touch without much instruction. All the times you fantasized about grabbing onto his slender waist with both hands, running them up to his sides methodically, they all come to life at your literal fingertips. But you're just now realizing you can do more than that. You can do whatever you want. For now, they make their rounds, sliding up his sides, touching his chest, and avoiding the weird excess flesh around that area, and his back, then down again, and back up. Sollux snickers into your neck and you feel a slap from reality, no longer in hazy dreamland.

  
"What's so funny??" Why don't you sound a little more defensive, that's really sexy, Karkat.

  
"Do you need a hint? Here, take this one for free." Without any further warning, your hand starts to move on its own, and you want to make a smarmy comment about how he can't seem to use his hands for anything, except when you open your mouth, your palm presses up against something warm and writhing, and you swear your head seems to implode. 

  
Fuck, okay, this is _happening._

  
You've never even really touched your own bulge, let alone someone else's. On the extremely rare occasion when you would go down to your bunker and experiment, the risk scared you right out of your horniness. Nothing is less sexy than the thought of dying a horrible death and your very last memory is the feeling of your dick in your hand. But you're not going to let that inexperience show, as far as he knows, you've jerked it lots of times! And you only stopped jerking it out of respect for your very good bro...friend. Brofriend. Precisely.

  
Even though you don't say anything, Sollux must get the idea that you're not sure what to do with this organ currently trying to break the fabric into your hand. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're just...rubbing against it, hand stiff and unmoving, but who knows. He bites his lip in thought again, and you study his face meticulously, trying to find any hint of pleasure, any trace of 'keep going' but instead, you find the opposite. In a last-ditch effort, you try just rubbing harder and faster and he quickly goes stiff in the shoulders and nudges your arm. "Stop stop stop, hold on, let me..." he tugs your wrist off him.

  
"What's the problem?"

  
"KK, jesus, have you never touched a bulge before?? It's not an analog stick!" Uh oh, he's on to you. You know he's just being himself; this is how he always talks to you, but it stings a lot more in this instance.

  
"...I'm sorry, okay, let me help." His apology seems reluctant, but that's probably the best you're going to get. Sollux's hands leave your hair and push their way up your shirt. 

  
Under normal circumstances, you would've been a little less receptive to him showing you what to do, but you seem like you really need it. You pull your shirt off, and before your head comes back out, Sollux has his hands down your pants, pulling them down, but not completely off and just enough to expose your fully unsheathed bulge.   
You're waiting for him to comment on it, say something mean, or backhanded or even a compliment, but instead, he goes straight to wrapping his fingers around it, gently tugging at the length. Watching it like this, you get the picture. You've seen hands do this a hundred times, but you didn't know it was so...fluid, gentle. And after the third or fourth stroke, you're holding your breath, whining out slightly. "How's that?" His voice is cocky, overconfident, you can hear the self-satisfied grin on his face and you wanna punch it off of him, but you're too busy rutting into his hand mindlessly.

  
You don't know what to do with yourself, eyes rolling back and fluttering shut as you grip onto Sollux's pants. Gradually and gracefully his hand tightens, the leg around your hips pull you closer. It feels like it was only half a second of pure decadence and he takes his hand off you. This would be much more disappointing to you if it wasn't all so overwhelming. Maybe he knows that. Maybe he knows that you can't just thrust into the deep end when you've barely toed the shallow pool, but when you open your eyes, you noticed that he stopped because he's shimming himself free of the only thing he's got on. 

  
There's no way that you're already--

  
Once the pants fall to the floor, you see Sollux naked. You've seen it many many times before, practically memorized each dip of his frame, each freckle, scar and dimple. But your eyes are immediately drawn to what's between his legs. 

  
Nows your chance to redeem yourself. In true Sollux fashion, you don't comment on it. That must be a porn lie, that people talk about their genitals when they see them. Or maybe it's just him again. With as delicate of a hand as you can muster, you hold his dick, in the exact way he held yours, and you stroke and squeeze it the exact way he did to yours. it feels good just to touch, the way it undulates and throbs in your palm. You're fascinated, suddenly you want to do so much more with it. The most you stroke, the most you hear Sollux vocalize. He makes noises you've never heard him make before, much less for you. And it hits you, he's making these noises for you. He wants you, and the thought makes your pumper race, and you can't hold back but pulling him in for a kiss and squeezing him just a little tighter. 

  
He whimpers into the kiss and pats your hand off him. "Sorry..." You mumble, "I'm still--"

  
"It's okay. Can you touch..." He moves his hips oddly, tilting them upward. You get the slightest peek at his nook and it makes your bulge curl and your throat tighten. "Yeah, of course, but uh." You decide not to ask any of the stupid questions you were going to. Despite the fact that you have only just learned how to touch bulges, you're going to try and jump into this. How different could it be? 

  
Your hands start moving towards it, rubbing along the folds, and feeling how slick and wet he is. You've never felt anything like this before, and it feels globe-shatteringly sexy. Sollux huffs, and when you look at him, his face seems to be growing impatient, but not upset, impatiently sympathetic, perhaps. "We can play mediculler some other time, do you think you could...?"

  
Suddenly, you feel a rush of shame and embarrassment, that quickly morphs into smugness. "I not sure what you're asking of me." You want to hear him say it. Both of your hands move to his hips, a smile growing subtly on your face as you hold him steady. Sollux whines again, rolling his hips up again. Now he looks upset. "What do you want from me??" 

  
"Communicate, use your words."  
"KK..." he's getting frustrated, "Please??"  
"Please what, Sollux?"   
He whines, loud, burying his face in your neck.   
"Please, fuck me, you fucking freak. Put your bulge in me." 

  
You've always wanted to do that, always wanted to get him to give in. Granted you were hoping you'd be a little more suave and capable, but this still satisfies you.

Simultaneously, you pull Sollux into a kiss and open his legs more to push inside of him. As much as you want to watch his face as you do it, you don't want him watching yours. He feels like velvet all around you, perfect and tight and immaculate. You hold yourself as steady as you can while his hands grip into your back, scratching your flesh and filling you with even more ecstasy, and you can't stop the sounds you make.

  
It all happens so fast, you don't have the time or mental capacity to process it. All you know is that you just go through this massive rush of pleasure that hits you like a knife, a sharp spike in pleasure, and now, everything's a whole lot wetter. "You did not..." Sollux gasps some and looks down between the two of you. It seems like not only did you make a huge mess of the floor, but the cocky grin of Sollux quickly falls, and he's made a mess as well. 

  
You look at him and start to laugh, and he joins you. 

  
"That...was not good." He starts, smiling into his palm as he starts to relax.   
"No, not really."  
"I liked it."  
"Really??"   
He shrugs, smiling and kissing you again, gentle in nature. "At least now the fucking seal is broken. We can just...do it whenever."  
"You owe me a game of mediculler."

  
He waves his hand at you dismissively, slumping against you. It takes some convincing, but you pull him off, and enlist him in clean up duty with you. Better to do it now then when it's dry on the floor. The entire time, he won't stop touching you. Your hands, shoulder, face, anywhere he can get his hands. 

You two should really get better communication skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i set out to do PWP and made tender romance sex   
> this was very self indulgent, I hope you enjoyed it


End file.
